Siblings in Short Stories

 Q: “What do the sibling stories we’ve read have to say about sibling relationships?”

A:

All the sibling stories we’ve read have shared some common features. They’ve largely focused on an older/younger pair (which makes sense, as that is an important factor in family dynamics) but not on people similar in age/twins, or three or more siblings. They take place from one sibling’s point of view, limiting our knowledge of the other sibling’s feelings, and tend to feature lack of understanding (“Sonny’s Blues”; “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi”) or jealousy (“If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi”). They mostly take place over a long period of time– because sibling relationships by nature are lasting. Except for “Black-Eyed Women,” they’ve been about two siblings in conflict and feature internal fights between them rather than external forces taking apart the siblings, except for the passage of time of course. I think these features are all done somewhat necessarily, as it’s a lot harder to fit in the relationships between three complicated people across a lifetime within a short story. The same goes for the point of view and the main type of conflict in the story, because good friends who never fight are just less interesting. 

Across different stories, we’ve gotten the perspective of both older and younger siblings and learned how they view each other– like older siblings feeling a bit incompetent but protective, and younger siblings looking up to them. To the younger siblings, the older is their world, but the older sibling grows out of that before the younger does, which creates conflict. 

One of the most important aspects of the stories we’ve read has to do with the drifting apart of siblings over the course of time. As the younger sibling grows up, they stop idolizing their sibling as much (because it’s not cool anymore, and because as they grow up they learn more about the world and their sibling and can craft better informed opinions). This happens in “Sonny’s Blues,” “The Evolution of My Brother,” and “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi.” As adults, their own issues (like self-esteem) bleed into their relationship, and likewise, their relationship affects their external lives. For example, in “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi,” Premal’s fight with his brother negatively affects his relationships with his girlfriends, particularly his ability to be emotionally vulnerable with them. However, Premal and Deepak live in different states and haven’t talked to each other in years, and only barely start mending their relationship by the end of the story. In “The Evolution of My Brother,” the main character worries that she wasn’t a good sister, about the long-lasting effects of her behavior around her much younger brother (with his fascination with pain, for example). She also moves far away from him for college and he very quickly grows distant. They’re saying that siblings will grow apart, and you’ll never truly know your siblings or be one of the most important people in their life after a certain point. And even if you do reconnect, things will never really be as they were. 

But these stories are also saying that even far into adulthood, your experiences with your siblings matter a lot. They can be a source for both trauma and healing. “Black-Eyed Women” is a bit different from the other stories because the siblings have been apart for so long, and there isn’t conflict between them. However, it still fits into the “at the end of the day, they still want to support each other and can take comfort in each other” category. The main character, despite the narration initially not making much of her brother, does learn to heal from him, and her brother spent many years working towards helping her. 

One thing I also noticed with the sibling stories is their similarity to frenemy stories. Like the frenemies in the stories we’ve read, siblings have a long-lasting relationship that’s gone through lots of ups and downs, and also grow far apart after initial closeness. Also, while obviously none of these stories are my exact experience, there are some parts that resonate with me, like the end of “The Evolution of My Brother” when Jenny reflects on her changing relationship with her brother. I'm not a fan of the theme of not talking to each other for years, but I guess whether or not it relates to my own experiences is something I'll find out.